Warning: Poppy is a sentient cloud of chaotic joy disguised as a Goldendoodle. While ordinary puppies are busy doing normal dog things, Poppy is currently running a highly sophisticated emotional scam. She uses a combination of teddy-bear aesthetics and left-eyebrow telepathy to convince humans that she has never been fed in her entire life. It is an art form. She is highly intelligent, unfairly fluffy, and possesses the dramatic timing of a silent-film actress.

The Specs on Poppy:

The Look: A cross between a high-end Muppet and a perfectly toasted marshmallow.

The Brain: Sharp. She has already the exact angle to tilt her head to get 40% more treats.

The Vibe: High-energy philosopher. She will sprint three laps around the yard, stop to contemplate a leaf, and then crash directly onto your face for a nap.

Poppy is currently seeking a permanent administrative staff (also known as a family) to cater to her demands for belly rubs and ear scratches. If you are ready to be outsmarted and deeply loved by a golden mastermind, apply here.